Fresh out of the Tigram engineering labs, the latest in high-tech running gear:
Introducing the Tigram Fuel Belt
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| The Tigram Fuel Belt just reeks of quality construction |
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| Comes with a mismatched set of bottles to store a variety of fluids |
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| Innovative camera sleeve is guaranteed to hold your camera secure up to 80% of the time. |
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| Look at that computer guided laser precision stitching! |
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| Custom sized. Reinforced with industrial grade cool mint dental floss |
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| For a snug fit, comes with Bonus Velcro extension. Fastened with nearly rust free bobby pins. |
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| When you land face first on the trail, your bottles will be secure, locked down with genuine hair bands |
Warnings:
- Tigram does not imply any waranty or guarantee the Fuel Belt will actually hold bottles
- Keep out of reach of children
- When using camera sleeve, check every 2-3 minutes to make sure camera is still there and hasn't fallen out
- Do not machine wash Tigram Fuel Belt
- In fact, don't even hand wash it. It will probably fall apart
- Tigram is not responsible for any damage to reputation or self image incurred from wearing fuel belt
Zap! Pow!
ReplyDeleteBatman would be proud!
Tigram is quickly establishing itself among the other snake oil salesmen in the running industry, like Nike and Vibram.
ReplyDeleteDayn 24, can you believe it? It seems like just 22 days ago we were on day 2, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteLove this new belt. (when I saw the title, I thought for sure it was going to be a leather tool belt though, maybe for ultra running hey?)
I think the next product for Tigram should be a handheld water bottle. (you know, the clear plastic kinds you hold in your hand while running) I think it would go over well with the environmentalists.
I thought the 10 toes was funny, an obvious joke. but....isn't this your fuel belt that you use all the time??
ReplyDeleteyes! isn't it awesome?
ReplyDeleteYes, it is awesome. Was that the formal review rating of this product? awesome. It certainly gets high marks for durability, I believe there are quite a few miles under this particular Tigram fuel belt. Personally, I fear this type of belt would result in severe chafing issues.
ReplyDeleteSeveral years ago, I tried to wash the Tigram Fuel Belt and was informed never to do that again. It was explained that washing wasn't necessary and would only decrease the life of the fuel belt. Can you confirm the years and life cycle of the belt?
ReplyDeleteFunk from running is holding my old fuel belt together. The bacteria kill each other off eventually, so washing is not necessary.
ReplyDeleteAhh. That makes so much sense. Thank you Bart.
ReplyDelete